Masking your ADHD is a coping mechanism used to conform to neurotypical standards and avoid the shame and stigma that comes with the condition. It may start off as a useful strategy, but over time, it can become tough to maintain and prevent individuals from sharing who they really are. Masking can involve suppressing symptoms, hiding ADHD in public settings, or denying the real effect ADHD has on an individual's life.
What Does Masking ADHD Look Like?
Masking can take many forms, including the following:
Overcompensating: Individuals may try to overcompensate for their symptoms to appear "normal" to others. For example, someone with ADHD may spend an immense amount of time and energy organizing their space to appear more put together.
Avoidance: Individuals may avoid situations or people that trigger their symptoms. For example, someone with ADHD may avoid carpooling because they feel anxious about the mess in their car.
Denial: Individuals may deny the real effect that ADHD has on their life to avoid feeling ashamed or stigmatized. For example, someone with ADHD may deny that their forgetfulness is a problem, even when it leads to negative consequences.
Hyperfocusing: Hyperfocus is a common symptom of ADHD, and some individuals may use it as a way to mask their symptoms. For example, someone with ADHD may hyperfocus on work to the point of neglecting other areas of their life.
The Consequences of Masking Your ADHD
Masking can have several negative consequences, including:
Delayed or missed diagnosis: Masking can make it difficult for individuals to receive an accurate diagnosis, especially if they are women or girls with ADHD. This delay in diagnosis can lead to untreated symptoms and additional mental health issues.
Reduced self-esteem: Masking can lead to a distorted sense of self and feelings of inadequacy. Many individuals who mask are the same ones who magnify their challenges and dismiss their victories. This can lead to a reduced sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
Burnout: Masking takes a significant amount of energy and can lead to burnout over time. Individuals who mask their symptoms often worry about others catching on to the "scheme" and live with significant social anxiety.
Imposter Syndrome: Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern in which individuals doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. Masking can contribute to imposter syndrome by leading individuals to believe that they are not good enough as they are.
The Process of Unmasking
If you recognize that masking ADHD is tied to debilitating shame and low self-esteem, talk to a medical professional. Therapy can help you break out of negative thinking patterns, explore issues of deficiency that lead to masking, and improve your ability to be authentic with others.
Here are some steps to begin the unmasking process:
Recognize and accept your ADHD: The first step in unmasking is to recognize and accept your ADHD. This means acknowledging your symptoms, understanding how they affect your life, and accepting that they are a part of who you are.
Identify your masking behaviors: The next step is to identify the behaviors you engage in to mask your symptoms. This may include avoiding certain situations or people, denying the real effect of ADHD on your life, or overcompensating for your symptoms.
Replace masking behaviors with healthier coping strategies: Once you have identified your masking behaviors, you can start to replace them with healthier coping strategies. For example, instead of avoiding carpooling because of the mess in your car, you can try to clean your car regularly or communicate with your carpooling buddy.
​​Seek support: It can be challenging to unmask and show your authentic self, especially if you have been masking for a long time. Seeking support from a therapist, coach, or support group can help you navigate this process and provide you with the necessary tools and encouragement to embrace your ADHD and build self-esteem. These resources can also provide a safe space for you to share your experiences, connect with others who have similar experiences, and gain validation and empathy.
Practice self-compassion: Unmasking is a process that takes time and patience, so it's essential to practice self-compassion along the way. This means being kind to yourself and acknowledging the progress you have made, no matter how small. It also means letting go of perfectionism and embracing your imperfections, which can be a source of strength and uniqueness.
Advocate for ADHD awareness: Finally, one of the most powerful ways to break the cycle of masking is to advocate for ADHD awareness and reduce the stigma associated with the condition. This can involve educating others about ADHD, sharing your own experiences, and advocating for policies that support individuals with ADHD. By doing so, you can help create a more inclusive and accepting society that celebrates neurodiversity and supports individuals with ADHD in living their best lives.
In conclusion, masking is a common coping mechanism that many individuals with ADHD use to conform to neurotypical standards and avoid the stigma associated with the condition. While it may provide short-term relief, over time, it can lead to burnout, reduce self-esteem, and prevent accurate diagnosis and treatment. Unmasking involves recognizing and accepting your ADHD, identifying your masking behaviors, replacing them with healthier coping strategies, seeking support, practicing self-compassion, and advocating for ADHD awareness. By unmasking, individuals with ADHD can embrace their unique strengths and challenges, build self-esteem, and live more authentic and fulfilling lives.
If you are struggling with masking ADHD, remember that you are not alone. Our Agave Health App offers a range of resources to support individuals with ADHD, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) programs and access to ADHD coaches. CBT is a type of therapy that can help you identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors, which can be especially helpful in overcoming the shame and low self-esteem associated with masking ADHD. Our ADHD coaches are trained professionals who can provide personalized guidance and support as you work towards unmasking and living fully with ADHD.
Don't let masking hold you back any longer. Take the first step towards unmasking and reclaiming your authentic self by downloading the Agave Health App today.
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