Changing Routines and Emotional Overwhelm with ADHD: Why It Happens and How to Cope

When routines change, it can feel like your brain short-circuits—especially if you’re someone with ADHD. Even small shifts—like a new work schedule, kids being home for summer, or a holiday weekend—can make everything feel... off. And when that happens, it’s not just inconvenient—it’s emotionally overwhelming.

You might feel more irritable than usual. More tearful. Maybe everything feels harder than it “should.” That’s not you being dramatic or falling apart. That’s your nervous system trying to recalibrate while everything familiar is shifting under your feet.

June 2025, Rebecca Branham, ADHD Coach @ Agave Health

Why ADHD Brains Struggle with Change

One of the hallmark executive dysfunctions in ADHD is difficulty with transitions. Our brains love predictability, familiarity, and routines that help us conserve mental energy. When those routines change, we lose our sense of what to expect, how to prepare, and what’s coming next—and that lack of clarity creates stress.

Physiologically, your brain sees routine disruptions as a threat. You might go into fight, flight, or freeze. Cue the emotional dysregulation.

Add hormones, sensory input, or life stress on top of it? Boom: overwhelm.

What You Might Notice When Routines Shift:

• You feel “off” but can’t put your finger on why

• You lash out or shut down more easily

• You can’t seem to get started on anything

• You’re extra forgetful or scattered

• You feel like you’re failing, even when you’re not
  

What Can Help:

1. Anchor to What Stays the Same

When everything feels like it’s changing, find 1–2 “constants” you can hold onto. That might be your morning drink, a short walk, your favorite playlist, or a 3-minute breathwork exercise. These aren’t magic—they’re anchors. They give your brain something predictable to land on.

Don’t: Try to force everything back into a pre-change routine. That’s a fast track to burnout.

2. Visualize Your New Routine

Write it down. Sketch it out. Block it on a calendar. ADHD brains are not great at holding shifting schedules in working memory, so give yours a visual support. Even if the routine feels weird or new, it’s better than leaving it vague.

Don’t: Keep the new routine all in your head. That’s a recipe for mental fog and missed steps.

3. Build in Buffer Time

Whether it’s the school pickup time changing or a new work hour, give yourself buffer space. ADHDers need transition time—we often underestimate how long things take and then get stressed when we’re behind. Adding a 10-minute “reset zone” between tasks or commitments makes a huge difference.

Don’t: Schedule things back-to-back and expect yourself to jump from task to task without emotional whiplash.

4. Communicate the Chaos

Let your people know your routine is changing. Whether it’s your partner, your kids, or your coworkers, it helps to say, “Hey, my rhythm’s shifting and I might be a little off for a bit while I adjust.” That reduces pressure and makes space for grace.

Don’t: Isolate or assume you “should” be handling it perfectly on your own.

5. Journal or Voice Note It

Change can stir up a lot. Instead of trying to push past the feelings, jot them down. Or open your phone and voice note a 1-minute check-in with yourself. This helps you move from reactive to reflective—and that’s where regulation begins.

Don’t: Dismiss your experience just because “it’s not that big of a deal.” If it feels big, it is.

Reminder: It’s Okay If You’re Not Okay Right Now

Change is hard. Transitions are hard. ADHD makes both of those even harder. But you’re not broken or failing. You’re adjusting.

And in the meantime? You don’t have to do it alone. If this season has you spiraling or stuck, come check in with your coach in the Agave Health app. You can also explore more about emotional regulation or ADHD-friendly planning tools via CHADD or ADDitude Magazine, both trusted resources for ADHD adults and families.

You’ve navigated change before. You’ll navigate this, too. Just… maybe with a little more support and a lot more self-compassion this time around.