Co-Parenting with ADHD? Here’s Why You’re Not Alone (and How to Communicate Through It)

You’re parenting a tiny human. With someone else. And you’ve got ADHD.

If that sentence made your stomach clench a little—you’re not alone. Co-parenting with ADHD (whether you or your partner has it—or both!) can feel like trying to herd caffeinated squirrels while balancing a shared Google Calendar that no one actually checks.

But here’s the good news: ADHD doesn't have to wreck your co-parenting. With the right tools, self-awareness, and a lot of grace, it can actually teach you how to build stronger communication, trust, and systems that work for your unique family.

For more on how ADHD shows up in everyday relationships, check out our post on Time Blindness and how it impacts your ability to plan and follow through—especially with a co-parenting partner.

May 2025, Kristina Proctor, ADHD Coach @ Agave Health

ADHD in the Parenting Equation

ADHD isn’t just about forgetfulness or being “scattered.” It’s a brain-based difference in how we regulate attention, emotion, time, and tasks. And those differences show up big time when you’re raising kids together.

Common ADHD-related challenges:

• Time blindness

• Emotional reactivity

• Executive function struggles

• Forgetfulness around important dates

• Struggles with transitions (work → parent mode)

  
  

🧠 According to National Institute of Health, around 40% of parents of kids with ADHD have ADHD symptoms themselves. So chances are, neurodivergence is playing a role in your parenting dynamic.

ADHD + Co-Parenting = Communication Challenges (and How to Fix Them)

Communication between co-parents is hard. Add ADHD, and suddenly you're trying to have a team meeting with two totally different playbooks.

Common Communication Clashes:

• Mental load overload (usually on the non-ADHD parent)

• Feeling micromanaged (usually the ADHD parent)

• Misinterpretation of intent (“You don’t care” vs. “I forgot”)

  
  

Let’s be clear: ADHD doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you a different kind of parent—and that means you need different tools.

Want to go deeper into how ADHD affects adult communication? Check out ADHD Awareness to learn more>>

Next up: Tools to build a more ADHD-friendly co-parenting system.